Thursday, March 17, 2005
| Bye Bye Ted, Bye Bye Cool Guy When I was 11 or 12, I was obsessed with the show Hey Dude on Nickelodeon. I’m sure you remember it, but if you don’t, what the hell were you doing playing outside after school? In any case, one of the final episodes dealt with Ted (David Lascher) leaving the Dude Ranch for Summer School. At the end of the episode, Ted sat on a set of stairs, strumming his guitar, singing an original song he wrote. The part of the song that made me cry the most? “Bye bye Ted, bye bye cool guy”. Either I’m a complete loser or those were the most powerful song lyrics to ever be written. I sobbed and sobbed for hours about his departure from the show. Today I am dealing with something a little similar. Ari and I have been working side-by-side (literally) for the last 4 years. The job I work at is the first that I applied to in this big and intimidating city. Almost instantly Ari and I hit it off and have been super good friends and co-workers ever since. Our days are filled with bitchfests, jokes, celebrity gossip, and way too many smoke breaks. She is the first person I talk to in the morning and most times the last person I talk to at the end of my day. Without a doubt, I have accumulated more hours in Ari’s presence than Paul and I have ever known. On September 11th, 2001, it was Ari who grabbed my crying ass and took me back to her apartment. It was she that fed me pot and wiped my tears and told me that “everything would be alright”. It was Ari who took me under her wing and made sure that we would all be ok. During the big blackout of 2003, it was Ari who grabbed my confused ass and took me back to her apartment. It was there that we got trashed together, running around like crazy people, and waiting until we would figure out why half of the Northeastern United States was pitch black. It has always been Ari looking out for Joe and now I don’t know what I’ll do without that security. Ari and I began our journals at the exact same time, under the guidance of one Miss Rita Lovely. Our journals have been connected at the hip ever since. Ari has taught me how to stand up for myself at my job. It was Ari that has encouraged me to be stronger and more capable of living a happy and successful life in NYC. It’s been Ari being the big sis, the best friend, the confidant, and the yang to my sometimes pessimistic, self-defaming ying. It’s very hard to put into words how sad and lost I feel with her leaving me. Of course we’ll remain friends and of course this change in occupation doesn’t diminish anything that we’ve shared over the last 4 years. But when I think about not seeing her every day, not having her sitting two feet away from me, I get this heavy feeling in my chest; a feeling that makes me more upset than could be explained. My twin is leaving me. When I started this job, I never expected to be here this long. I always thought that it was going to be a blip on my radar. But it’s turned into so much more than that. It’s become the place where I’ve grown into who I am. It’s become the place that gave me one of the closest friends I’ve ever had in my life. It’s the place that is currently breaking my heart. I love Ari. It’s one of those loves that comes around so rarely that you must hold on to it with every fiber in your being. I have always felt very protective of Ari and I’ve always tried to be the friend to her that I know she needs. But now she’s leaving my grasp and moving on to bigger and much better opportunities; opportunities that will effectually move her into the next phase of her life. My hope and goal is to remain as much a part of those experiences as I can. Ari and I may not be able to sit and gab for 8 hours a day anymore, but we will certainly be taking part in more happy hours and many more home visits. I’m trying so hard to be strong with this whole thing, but sometimes I feel like I just want to cry and let it out. Sometimes I feel like I want to beg her to stay, just so that I won’t be alone. Yet, it’s time to give her that final kiss on the cheek. It’s time to hug her as tight as I can and to wish her the best of luck with this new and exciting change. It’s time to let my Ari go. If only for now. |
